Sean's Current Situation

Sean and me had similarities in what our current lives were, and we both wanted to escape the same way, by having tremendous fun with a lot of fun and crazy people. This made us good companions during that current journey of our lives.

Sean was a good guy to hang out with. We had interesting, intelligent, and fun converstaions. We could go to the bar and have a lot of fun having drinks, shooting pool, and flirting with the ladies. We fit in equally well whenever people (especially the girls) invited us to join them in whatever escapades that they had in mind. He was a good buddy. But we did have a lot of differences though. For one, Sean was pretty much a player. He would do anything, and/ or say anything if it meant getting laid. I mean by ANYBODY too. He had no standards. He dated and went out with some of the cutest and most attractive ladies on these bar scenes (mostly by charm, not by looks in my opinion), but he would also go home with and f#ck the fattest, ugliest chicks too if they came onto him at the end of the night. It's not that he was drunk either. We usually only drank about one pitcher of beer each when we were hanging out. He just had no standards. It was also a lot to do with his ego, and his insecurities for that matter. In some way, f#cking as many chicks as he possibly could made him think that 'he could get anyone he wanted' and therefore didn't need any one of them. Or something like that. At any rate, for all the cool and hot looking chicks that he would date and/ or f#ck, I couldn't believe how many ugly and/ or sloppy or 'stupid' chicks he would also f#ck. Even when he had good looking girlfriends, he would still cheat on them with most 'unimpressive' chicks at times. Somehow it 'proved' something to him.

Anyway, as decent as he was to have as a 'buddy', he was equally a complete asshole when it came to women that he was dating or especially used to date. It's like he had something to prove to every girl he was dating or ever did date. Something to prove to his own insecurities I think. But when it came to women, he was a complete jerk and an asshole.

this 'personality' with women is what led him to his current life's crisis. Sean used to be married and had two (or three) children. I cannot say what kind of a husband or a father he was back then, that was before I knew him. His wife was bipolar, which I know can be quite the 'challenge' to say the least. He did tell me stories about a lot of the 'psycho' things that she had done, and I believe them. Though I also believe that he was never as 'innocent' as he liked to let on during this time as well. Lord only knows what he did to prompt her 'psychotic episodes'. None of my business.

Anyway, while married, Sean was a young successful engineer. He was also a part-time law student. His life looked full of promise. Things were NOT good at all at home. This (amougst Lord knows what else) eventually led him to having an affair with a very attractive law student in his class. Eventually things got so insane at home that he left his wife and children for this hot law student that he was having an affair with.

This caused his wife the get really 'psycho'. She called the police on Sean and accussed him of all sorts of things including abandoning his kids (who were toddlers) while he was the only one looking after them, beating his wife, and all sorts of other things. These all turned out to be false accusations. It also helped that she left messages on his answering machine (which he kept) that she was going to accuse him of all these things if he didn't come back to her prior to her filing all these charges. She also did things like totally destroy their house, like kitchen cabinets, and walls, and things like that. It also caused her to call his work a number of times and causing troubles with his boss to try to get him fired. Things like that.

These charges all went to court but were all dropped due to the overwhelming evidence against her that she was just making it all up. She also accused him of 'stalking' her. Which according to Sean, she was the one stalking him. I only know his side of the story (and I do know that Sean is a liar), but I tend to believe him on this one. Anyway, due to her current 'mental' state and all the other sh!t that she charged Sean with, these charges weren't dropped (as the other ones were), but they were 'stayed'. Which means that they go 'dormant' and are ignored unless something happens to brings these charges back up again. Pretty much the court's discretion.

Well, this new 'love' of Sean's life though very attractive and a law student turns out to be quite the 'psycho' herself. I don't know what she had, but to listen to the stories that Sean told about her, she MUST have had some sort of mental condition. Anyway, she was super possessive, and violent, and her and Sean were ALWAYS fighting over something. (Actually all Sean ever seemed to do when in a relationship is to constantly fight and argue - usually over nothing except both of their mistrust and insecurities). Once again none of my business, and "don't care".

However, this eventually led Sean to dumping the girl that he dumped his wife and kids for.

Sean, being the dick to his ex's that he is, he just couldn't leave it at that and move on with his life (which at the time was still good - he still had his job, and career, and a very promising future). He did abandon his wife and kids for another woman though, which did leave him with a $700 monthly alimony payment after the divorce. Plus he had to fix or else pay to fix all of their things that his wife destroyed. But, all-in-all, his life was still in pretty good shape.

But like I say, Sean just cannot leave things alone. Not when it comes to women anyway. So what does he do? He goes on to try and rub it in his ex-girlfriends face that he is 'just fine' without her. So he gets an apartment in the same building that his ex-girlfriend does. And he goes out of his way to show her how great he is doing without her, and how much he doesn't need her. Knowing Sean, he probably went out of his way to flaunt any girls that he dated in front of her, and went out of his way to rub anything that he could infront of her face. That's just how Sean is around women. Especially ex's. He just can't help himself. He just has something to prove. What? I don't know. But something!

However, Sean's ex-girlfriend isn't as dumb as Sean when it comes to things like that. She is just as vindictive though. Actually, more so. You see, she was Sean's girlfriend and moral support while Sean was going through all the court battles with his wife. As he did rely on her for moral support during this time, he told her EVERYTHING that his wife was trying to pull, and EVERYTHING that was going on.

She being smart, vindictive, and a law student knew EXACTLY what to do to get back at Sean. She accused Sean of all the same charges that his wife charged him with. Now, there were TWO women (in a row) charging him with all the same charges. This caused the stayed charges from his wife to be reopened as well. Now he was screwed. And both women HATED him with a PASSION and wanted to see him burn in hell! So neither one was backing down from pressing these charges to the maximum penalty that they could get for him.

He got away with 'not-guilty' verdicts from his ex-girlfriend, but it cost his thousands and thousands of dollars in court costs. He also had a 'restraining order' so that he could not go within 100 yards (or so) of his ex-girlfriend. Which means he had to drop out of law school because she was going to the same school and in his classes. Then he still had his wife's 'felony stalking' charges to deal with. These court battles were going on while he was living at my place. This cost him thousands of dollars more and drained any money he had left in his savings. It also led to his being found 'guilty' of a felony which means he could never work as an engineer (a professional job) again.

I do believe that Sean was innocent of the felony charges that he was found 'guilty' of. But he was guilty of pushing these women to the point of hating him so much that they wanted to ruin him. And in the end, they did. All because he just couldn't leave it alone, and had to rub it in their faces how well he was doing without them. He may have been innocent, but he did deserve what he got. He just couldn't leave it alone...

I do remember, seeing we were really close friends at the time (and I was still out of work myself) going down to the courtroom with him during his trials (against his ex-wife). To offer moral support. Plus it was kind of interesting. He would wear his suit. I put on business casual clothes. His wife had two lawyers, and she stood up with them during the trial. Sean had one lawyer, and stood up with him as well. I (who walked in with Sean) sat in the front row of the court room. What was really funny is that seeing Sean was wearing his suit and standing up with his lawyer, the judge mistakenly thought that I was Sean, and that Sean was one of the lawyers.
So when the judge laid down the guilty verdict and was sentencing Sean to 30 days in jail he was staring at me and talking to me instead of Sean. He was giving me his sturnest look, and giving me (Sean) this LONG speech about how poorly he thought of what I had done, and how much I (Sean) should think very long and hard about it so as to not repeat it again. Meanwhile, I'm giving the judge the odd smile, and nudging my head towards Sean trying to tell the judge "Hey, it's not me. He's over there!" FINALLY, after the judge finishes his LONG and STERN speech, he finally asks if "YOU UNDERSTAND, MR. [Sean's last name]". Then Sean responds from where he was standing along the side with his lawyer, and FINALLY the judge whips his head around and starts talking at Sean instead of me!

I thought it was pretty funny. But I was also thinking, "Hey, I've done nothing. Why should I be the one getting the dirty looks and mean speech from the judge!" No problem though. I wasn't the one having to serve the sentence.

Sean was quite thankful I was there though. He didn't want to have to face that LONG and STERN speech, not to mention the complete look of disgust on the judge's face while delivering it. I endured that for him. What a friend! He owed me!

Genetics Gone Wrong?

If I ever want to get to the more fun posts, I've got to start writing more than one post a week. I wasn't even going to write about this one, but it is more good background information on people in 'this environment'.

I guess I was starting to become more popular at this point. Or at least more noticed anyway. The first day that Sean was out of the hospital and staying at my place we were sitting around in the afternoon watching movies that he had. We were watching "Road Trip", and "Chasing Amy" this particular day.

The phone rang. I answered. It was this chick named Robin that phoned 'to inquire about how Sean is doing' but then procededed to talk to me for the next two hours (even though Sean was sitting next to me on the couch). For the first hour I had no idea who this was that I was talking to. At first I thought that it may be the girl that we referred to as "Troll Robin". Who was a very nice person, and one of the people that we hung out with, but she really did look somewhat like a short pudgy troll. I wasn't interested in her, so really wasn't that much into the conversation. Sean was giving me the 'who is that?' look, and I was shrugging my shoulders and giving the 'I don't really know' look. Then I all-of-a-suddenly clued in and realized who I was talking to. Robin was this decent looking chick in her mid-thirties that worked as a server at Eldorados bar. Okay. She was pretty good looking, and I would f#ck her. So then I perked up a little bit in the conversation. We talked for about another hour, - blah, blah, blah, blah, - then hung up. We had to put the movie "Road Trip" back in because I missed the whole thing. (Great movie by the way.)

After that Robin started calling me pretty much every day. I would see her at Eldo's and we would talk there as well. She kept talking about 'hanging out', and I agreed that it would be a good idea. Eventually we went out together a few times. The first time was to an outdoor concert, - Billy Squire, Bad Finger, and Styx. That was fun. We had some drinks at her place first. She got drunk (she was pretty much a light-weight) then we went to the concert and had a good time. We went out a few other times, like to Buckeye Lake to go boating with her father. That was also fun. We'd make out some afterwards, and talked about wanting to have sex with one another, but she kept wanting to 'hold off' on it. Fine by me. I would ask her to stay the night, but also wasn't pressed about it. She wasn't someone that I was actually 'interested' in.

After a few times of seeing her and talking to her 'all the time' when she called me on the phone, I quickly began to realize that as much as she talked (and talked and talked and talked) she never actually had ANYTHING to say. I mean, it really started sounding like a constant droning, or buzz in the ear. Everything she talked about was whining about this or that, and it was never anything of any relevance. On the phone, I wouldn't even say anything for several minutes at a time and she would just keep talking and talking and talking. A few times I put the phone down, and then picked it up about 10 minutes later and she was still just talking and talking and talking. She didn't even know that I wasn't on the phone.

I remember the last time that I did something with her was when she called me up and asked if I wanted to go to an afternoon movie at the second run theater (the cheap theaters). We went. We saw the move "Blow". It was a good movie. She was talking about the movie afterwards, I could tell she didn't even 'get' that movie. What's not to get? She really wasn't very bright, and really wasn't very interesting. When I first started talking to her, and hanging out with her, I figured she was just one more person to hang out and do things with. Now I realized that I would rather spend time alone than to spend time with her. I decided to myself that I didn't even want to have sex with her anymore, and didn't want to spend any more time with her, and ESPECIALLY didn't want to have to listen to her anymore.

I probably should have just told her that then and there. But, seeing she worked at Eldo's and knew (but wasn't really friends with) all the karaoke people that I knew, I just let it go. I did tell her the next time she called me that I didn't think that we should 'date' anymore and that I just wasn't 'feeling it'. I agreed that we were still friends though and could continue talking to one another. Big mistake!

I didn't see her anymore, except for at Eldo's Thursday and Sunday nights during karaoke while she worked. But she continued to call me on the phone pretty much every day. Same as before, she would just talk and talk and talk and never say ANYTHING! It didn't matter if it were me or Sean who answered the phone either. She would talk AT whomever answered. She was a nice enough person, and neither me nor Sean had the heart to tell her to leave us alone, but we seriously began screening our phone calls and would NEVER answer if it was Robin. When we did slip up and answer the phone, we could never get her off the line. We would give all the 'bored' indications. Even be somewhat rude, and several times say, "Well, I've got to go now...", but she just wouldn't stop talking! She never ever even stopped to take a breath. You really did have to say, very quickly, "Okay, gotta go now!", then hang up really quick before she could respond.

It took months of us not answering when she called, and never calling her back for her to eventually stop calling us. Once again, not exactly an exciting post, but I just wanted to bitch about it because it was such a PAINFUL and drawn out experience.

I think she was just a lonely person. Actually, it seemed to be a 'family' thing. She had a brother that was one of the karaoke 'regulars'. (But definitely NOT one of the more 'popular' ones.) He was at the VIP and Eldo's every karaoke night just like the rest of us. He went by the nick name 'Mr. Happy'. His real name was Todd. Everyone knew him to say 'hi' and he was welcome at our tables on karaoke night. But he didn't seem to have any REAL friends. He never had any money either, because he hadn't worked in years. Apparently he was in the militiary during Desert Storm and 'apparently' had some sort of disability because of it. He was always going to court, trying to get money out of the government for it, but never got any (besides a military pension of some sort) due to the fact that nobody could prove there was any 'disabilities' or anything wrong with him for that matter. He was one of karaoke people that went to karaoke every night and only drank water (there were a few of them). Long after I stopped seeing his sister, he would call me up (because I was 'dating' his sister) and ask to borrow $20. Now, I knew lots of people that would ask to borrow $10 or $20 until payday (like for a few days). But Mr. Happy would call me up in (say) March, and ask to borrow $20 until July. Who does that? The first time I did loan him the $20. Oddly enough, he really did pay it back a few months later as promised. Still, I didn't loan him any more money after the first time. About a year later, he was hanging out with one of my roommates. (She was a fun person but REALLY dense though.) Anyway, he asked to borrow money from me again. I said, "no". But, it was a nice sunny Saturday afternoon and I was finally planning to pull the knee high weeds that completely covered my front flower bed. (I was back to work by this time too.) I didn't want to do it. It would take about four hours. So instead of loaning him money, I told him that I would give him $40 if he pulled all my weeds for me. Of course he stammered through his refusal, and cited some sort of 'bad back' or something. It figures. I went and pulled them myself.

It's funny. Both him and Robin were two of the most lonely people that I had ever met. Desperate to talk to people but just didn't seem to know 'how' to talk. Yet they wouldn't talk to one another. I don't know why. It went back for years though. I became aware of this one time when I was still hanging out with Robin and went to her father's house for some sort of dinner party. The other weird thing is that both of them were also super lazy, super whiney, and super dumb. BUT their dad was a really smart and really hard working engineer that owned his own (small) engineering company. Figure that one out. Some sort of genetics gone wrong I suppose. Oh well. One of life's many mysteries...

My First Roommate

Like I mentioned in my prior post, Sean was the first of the karaoke crowd that I had met at the VIP. I guess I met a bunch of them all around the same time, but Sean was the one I started hanging out with first. We met shooting pool. Then when me and Bill started going to Eldorados (down the street a ways) on their karaoke nights (Thurs and Sundays), Sean was also there. Then the first Friday night that me and Bill went to that karaoke show (at a bar called Dino's), the first person we seen when we walked in the door was Sean. That's probably the first night the three of us started actually hanging out together.

Me and Sean had immediate connections due to the similar circumstances of our current lives. Sean had an Engineering degree and worked as an Engineer/ supervisor at a soap manufacturing plant. I was a Business Systems Analyst with a Computer Science degree. So we were both career professionals with a technical background and job. Sean had also been a part-time law student, but had to quit that due to some f#cked up sh!t he got himself into with his ex-girfriend (related to issues with his wife as well - I'll talk about that another time). Sean had split from his wife in the past year (actually he left her though) and she had bipolar disorder. A VERY mood altering disorder. I split with my wife just recently, and she had clinical depression and Attention Deficit Disorder. Also mood altering conditions. We both had very successful careers up until the last year, and were now both having f#cked up problems with our jobs, and taking crap and blame for things that we shouldn't be, and that were beyond our control.

The thing that truly 'endeared us' (in a totally 'manly way' of course) was when Sean asked me, "What was in your jacket pocket?" We both empties our jackets and both had the EXACT same things in each. A condom, breath spray, and a karaoke slip with some girl's name and number written on the back of it. That was hilarious.

Anyway, Me and Bill and Sean started hanging out together after that. Sean would even call me me from work (because I was still on 'the bench' and didn't have to report to the office) near the end of his shift and we would chat and then meet up later afterwards. Then I got laid off (along with about 50 other employees that were not attached to projects). About two weeks later, Sean got fired for 'falling asleep at work'. He says it's because he was allergic to the soap products they were manufacturing, which I think was partly true, but it was also because he was also staying out at the bars until 3:00am every night as well. Mostly we both got let go because someone of greater influence than us took dislikes to us (for their own reasons) during our last projects. Prior to that, we were both deemed 'high performers' at work, and used to get the praise of all our peers.

Like I mentioned earlier, I still didn't have my head or my life on straight due to my marriage collapsing as it did, and seeing the technology market had bottomed out, and the fact that I had a lot of cash on hand, I decided to not work for a while. I wasn't sure what I was going to do, but I did know that I needed time to sort things out in my life. I had just bought my house eight months earlier, so couldn't leave Columbus. So I just existed for a while.

Like I also mentioned earlier, Bill was starting to become a 'nuisance' at the bars because once he got drunk he would turn into a 'hood boy' and just not fit into the environments of these 'non-hood' bars. That was temporarily solved by Bill having to spend 30 days in jail due to something he got into a year earlier.

So now me and Sean were hanging out every night. It's Sean that introduced me to the rest of the 'karaoke circuit'. Though I had already met a number of them. But there were about 20 karaoke regulars that followed the same karaoke show night after night. Monday night was Rosie's, Tuesdays was Shorty's, Wednesdays was the VIP, Thursdays was Eldorados, Fridays was Dino's, Saturdays was back to the VIP, and Sundays was back to Eldorados.

After the bars closed, I used to go home to bed so I could get up and work (or study) in the morning, but now I didn't have work anymore. So, on the second night that I was no longer working, Heidi (a girl that I had been getting to know) asked me if I wanted to go to TJ's with them. It was a popular 24 hour breakfast joint that they often frequented. I replied, "Why not? I don't have anything better to do." So I went to TJ's with Sean, Heidi, Bass Dave, Robin (Troll), and (Moody) Gina (not the one that you know Kelley - in case you are reading). Five of the karaoke regulars. The first week hanging out with Sean, he had introduced me to ALL of the karaoke crowd. I pretty much was now a member (even though I didn't sing).

A couple weeks later, Sean had to have overnight surgery to repair a deviated septum (or something like that). He had to take advantage of his former company's benefits before they ran out. Apparently, the recovery would take about a week, and he was supposed to pretty much not move at all for that week. So it was recommended that he not stay alone during his recovery. He wasn't seeing Smiley anymore, but was trying to see if he could stay with another girl that he was starting to mix up with. That fell through, so I told him he could stay at my house for the week. After all, I had a fully furnished four bedroom house, and it's not like I had anything better to do during the day. So he stayed at my house that week. He had just bought the game 'Vanishing Point', a fun racecar game. We basically played that several hours every day. We got along so well, and enjoyed the company and conversation so much, he just never left. So Sean became my first roommate.

I know, not exactly an 'exciting' post but it's background information. There are plenty of more interesting stories related to Sean, and it's through him I initially met a lot of the other people that I will be relaying stories about.

There would be more to follow, but we'll get to that eventually.

The Death of Superman

Well, me and my black eye (from the Jeff and Jack fiasco) were back in Canada for Christmas. Actually I wasn't 'home' which would be Manitoba. I was in Calgary (where my brother was living). My brother had to work through Christmas so couldn't go home. The parents decided to visit him for Christmas because they were in Columbus a few years earlier (also when my brother had to work at Christmas). Originally me and my wife were supposed to spend a nice quiet Christmas alone together. We were looking forward to it. Well, obviously that was no longer the case, so I flew to Calgary also.

It was also obvious that Melanie was no longer going to pick me up at the airport when I returned to Columbus, and that we weren't going to spend New Year's together as originally planned. Oh well. So Bill picked me up at the airport (in a borrowed car). After we got my car and dropped the borrowed one off, we went to the VIP which was having a huge New Year's Eve celebration. It was a friday night. Not a karoke night, but it was PACKED with fun patrons and a huge party none-the-less. What a good time!

The first of the karoke crowd that I had met playing pool was a guy named Sean. I'll write a separate post about him in more detail later. Sean was 26 years old, was a career professional (like me) whos life was in the process of spinning out of control. So we had a connection right away. I can't say that he was an attractive man. In fact, I found him somewhat unattractive. He was soft and a little fat, and had a baby face. He was VERY outgoing though and could sing fairly well. I think that was the attraction for women. I think the baby face and roundly softness invoked some sort of 'maternal instinct' in the ladies at these bars too. That's just a theory though. BUT for whatever reason, most of the ladies were widely attracted to him. In fact, he was there that night with Smiley, who he was 'sort of' seeing. They called themselves girlfriend/ boyfriend, but I think it was more of a f#ck buddy relationship actually. They did date for a couple of weeks though and she was his date this particular evening. We all sat and partied together that night. We were all having a ball!

Bill was getting hammered, but seeing I was driving I had only about one pitcher of beer for the entire evening. One amusing thing about this night that I remember was that Mark (YoBoy) had a pot luck type spread of food at the back table. It was quite good. In a large crock pot was some sort of sausage-stew type of concoction that he had personally made. It was quite good. At one point, Mark goes over to Bill and says, "Hey Bill! Try some of this food that I made. It's really quite tasty!" As usual, talking to him like they were old best buddies. The funny thing is that Bill, though would talk to him, usually talked fairly down to him. He's really the one that continued to give Mark a hard time after our initial encounter. Mind you, I found it all funny, and did my share of disrespecting him as well. Mostly with just going along with, or laughing about the things Bill would say about Mark. But mostly, I was trying to 'smooth over' the relationship between me and Mark, given the fact that he owned the bar, and it was our absolutely FAVOURITE bar (for good reason). Anyway, I was sitting next to Bill when Mark made the food comment to him. He didn't even acknowledge my presence. Later I went and had some food, and whatever that stuff Mark made was, it was really good! Trying to be nice, I said to Mark, "Hey Mark. This stuff is really good! What's in it?" He looks at me with complete disdain, and replies in a grumpy tone, "Sausage." I say, "Oh,.....Just sausage?" He says back in the same grumpy tone, "Yes, sausage. Just sausage!" Whatever. At least I tried. I went back to my seat and told Bill and we laughed about that as well. Then made more fun of Mark while laughing. GFX looked pretty damned HOT that night I may add, and I did do my fair share of fraternizing with her as well. I always had to subtly flirt with her. That was a given.

Anyway the night was total fun. Great times were had by all. Near the end of the night me and Bill were heading out of there. Like I say, I was pretty sober but Bill was completely smashed. We headed South on High street (which is a major road that the bar was on). We went two blocks and I noticed when we went through a greeen light that the green glow of the light showed that my windshield was starting to fog up. So I reached down and put on the front defogger. In the two or three seconds it took me to do that, whilst I had my eyes of the road, Bill all-of-a-suddenly yelled, "Car! Car!" I quickly looked up, and at the EXACT moment I took my eyes of the road, the car a little ahead of us came to a very sudden stop due to the fact a car in front of them was waiting to turn left into the Huntington bank ATM drive through. I SLAMMED on my brakes! But it was too late. We nailed them from behind still travelling about 20 mph. They were in an older (solidly built) car. The bumper of my neon was lower to the ground than the back of their car. My front end hit and crumpled in like paper. We came to a VERY sudden stop into the rear bumper of their car.

We got out of my car. Out of the car that we hit emerged two cute little college-aged chickadees wearing their little fancy party dresses. They were both drunk. Bill walked over to them all drunk and his usual 'drooley', meanwhile I called him to 'step back'. Then, before I could address them, the chicky that was the driver said to me, "We don't have to report this or anything!" Knowing that I rear-ended them and would automatically be at fault, replied, "No. I don't see a need to report this." They were drunk and I was sober, but even a pitcher or so of beer would probably been enough to put me over the 'legal driving under the influence' limit. So I didn't want police involvement any more that they did.

As soon as I replied, they immediately jumped (I mean jumped) into their car and sped off. I didn't even have a chance to exchange any driver, insurance, or vehicle information. I couldn't see any visible damage to their car what-so-ever. Meanwhile my car was a crumpled mess stuck in the middle of the road. One headlight was smashed, the other was pointing at a 45 degree angle to the road. The car wouldn't even start. So we pushed the car off the road and into the gas station to our right. After a few minutes of looking under the hood (which was wadded up in the shape of a paper ball), we had realized that one battery cable had been knocked off. We reattached that, tried the ignition and the car started back up to life.

I was in a pretty pissed off mood. We both were. Actually Bill probably just used it as an excuse, but said, "F#ck this! That's it, we're going down to the hood and getting some stuff!" I agreed. This isn't how my night was going to end. So we took my crumpled heap of a car with one headlight smashed and one headlight facing directly into the pavement on New Year's Eve (or more like the morning of the New Year) into the North Hood to buy some crack. Fuck the tiny amounts. We bought a whole eight-ball. Which is 1/8 of an once (hence the name). (8-ball = 1/8 of an once, Teenager = 1/16 of an once, a Bill is $100 worth., everything esle is pretty much sold in multiples of $10.) We went to Pork's house. He's a dealer that works with Dave. (Him and Dave grew up together.) I said, "F#ck it! I'm not waiting in the car. I'm going in there and doing this deal myself!" Bill says, "Okay, G, let's go in and do it then!" Pork had never seen me before, and seeing I still had that corporate image about me, it made a lot of people from the hood that didn't know me think I may be a cop. So Pork pulls out this automatic weapon and points it at me. I didn't even care. I was still pissed off about my car. Pork says, "I'm not trusting him until I see him do a hit." I look around and say, "Well I'm not going to waste my time with a pop can, I need a real stem then." Pork hands me one loaded with a small hit and I do it. I'm not even paying attention to the gun he's pointing at me. He puts his weapon down and spreads out $150 worth. (Incidently, in Columbus the going rate for an 8-ball is $150. From what I understand it costs about $240 in Canada. Not that I care anyway. I haven't had any desire to use for years now. Just found the price difference noteable.)

So we drove my car all the way into the North Hood, then drove it all the way back to my part of town where we started from, and blazed this 8-ball of crack until about 7:00am. It was the first time that I had ever done a quantity more than about $20 at a time. No big deal though. We still only did small hits at a time and therefore didn't have any of the 'weird' side effects. On Sunday afternoon I called my insurance company and reported that I had hit a guardrail. After all, I didn't have any information at all to give them about the other vehicle or driver anyway.

That worked out pretty good. Later that week the insurance company wrote off my vehicle and gave me a $5,000 cheque for my 1996 (black) dodge neon with 80,000 miles on it. They appraised it at $5,500, but it cost $500 for them to haul it away for me. I could have kept it and got the full $5,500, but didn't want to bother with the hassle of getting rid of the car myself. A friend at work had just bought a new Toyota, and said there were used trade-ins for sale at the dealership. I called them, told them I had $5,000 in cash to spend and inquired what was available. They had just got a 1997 dodge neon (purplish grey) with 40,000 miles on it as a trade in, and would sell it as-is for $5,000. Bill got a friend of his to drive us there. We gave it a quick test drive. It was nice. I handed them $5,000 and the car was mine. So I ended up getting a neon (same as I had), that was one year newer, had 40,000 less miles on it, and was a nicer color for the same as I was given for my neon. Sweet deal. I was back in business!

The following Saturday morning at 7:00a, I got a telephone call from some lady detective. I at first thought it was looking for donations as I often got those phone calls and was kind of irritated that they would be calling me so early on a Saturday. Then she asked me if my car was in an accident the following week. I said, "yes". Then they asked why I didn't report another car involved in the accident. I originally said, "Well, there wasn't another car. I hit a guard rail." Then she stated, "That's not what so-and-so, the driver of the other vehicle, is reporting." Then she proceded to tell me that the other driver reported that we were intimidating them and then sped off in our vehicle before we could exchange information. With that, I told the detective, "Okay. There was another vehicle. But that's notat all what happened..." Then proceded to tell them the real story. The detective said, "Hang on. I'll call you back." Then called back a few minutes later saying that the other party has admitted that your details are correct. What had happened, is that this wasn't the 'little girl's car'. It was her father's car. A couple days after the accident, the father noticed some undercarriage damage (apparently $1,200 worth) and interrogated his daughter about it. She made up the story about us intimidating them, and taking off on them so that her father wouldn't get mad about not exchanging information. When the police questioned her about my story, she caved and told the truth. So all I had to do in the end was call my insurance company, explain the details, and the additional $1,200 to fix their car was included on the claim.

Now the whole story is over. Rest in peace, Superman. Rest in Peace.....

Bar Scenes

One thing that I should mention for clarity is what 'type' of bar scenes these were. Anyone coming from the background that I came from (that would be university/ college educated, career job, family focussed, etc.) don't generally hang out at bars much once they've graduated and started their careers. They are career and family focussed. They usually meet a like-minded person, date her for a stretch, get married and continue to build on the marriage and career. That's what path I was on for the first several years of my adult life.

When these people go to the bar, it's usually just to have a few drinks with a friend or friends and 'catch up'. Or maybe the wife or girlfriend is out of town, and you want to get drunk with the 'buddies'. You don't generally go there to meet new people or to hook up with anyone. Unless you decide to go to a stripper bar (which of course is different), the bars are generally nice, fairly upscale, and cater to this type of client. You basically go to these bars and sit and talk to whomever you went there to meet up with (and generally nobody else). They are not a 'sociable' bar. These are not the type of bars that I am referring to in my blog.

Of course there's also the dance bars, student/ young person bars. We all know them. They are the bars where the general age is 18 to 24 years old. Most people are students, or are at least not into their 'careers' or 'adult lives' yet. Of course these are just bars to mix and mingle and dance and party and do all the 'young adult' stuff. Obviously, these are not the type of bars that I am referring to in my blog either.

The bars that I'm referring to are the local area pubs. The 'sociable' bars. These are the bars where everyone just drops in. They often just drop in by themselves and everyone talks to everyone else sitting around the bar. For the most part, the patrons at these types of bars are quite a bit different than the bars I've mentioned above. For one, the patrons generally hang out at these bars on a regular, perhaps even daily basis. Many of their 'friends' are generally people that they've met hanging out at these bars. Most of these 'bar friends' they've never even seen outside of the bar. A lot of these patrons go to the bar to grab a few drinks and chat after work before preceding on with their lives. But a large part of the patronage is there to simply socialize and get drunk. It's a lifestyle.

Most of the patrons are single. Many or more like most of these patrons are not career or family focussed. In fact, a lot of them don't work at all, or at least don't work regularly. A lot of them are also the cooks, bartenders, and waiters that work in the area as well. They hang out here 'after work' which could be at any hour for those types of jobs. I've found that many of them tend to be the 'independent contractors' that work as painters, carpenters, remodelers, or labourers. Often these jobs don't require you to necessily be there from 9 to 5, or don't require you to work set days or hours. Any 'career professionals' that hang out at these bars are generally in the same boat that I was in. Displaced and in some sort of 'holding pattern' or 'f#cked up state of mind' due to whatever caused them to be displaced in the first place (lost job, failed marriage, new in town, whatever). You do get quite the variety, but for the most part everyone is there to meet people and socialize. It's at these bars, you have every different perspective, anything can happen, and everything is 'fair game'. These are the types of bars that I was hanging out at.

Perspectives

I want to take a short break from the 'sagas' of my past and talk about something that I touched on in my prior post. That would be the perspectives that people have based on the 'environment' where they are from.

Everyone starts from a certain environment that they were raised in. That of course is influenced by their parents (or whomever raised them) and the influences and perspectives of the community or society around them. Most people never truly leave the environment that they were raised in. That is to say that they may 'visit' other environments, or even 'know' people from other environments, but rarely do they get to the point where they 'live and fully understand' the perspectives of any environment outside of where they live in. Therefore, they tend to think pretty much the same as everyone else that they've been exposed to. Meaning that what they view as 'right', or 'impressive', or 'better', or even 'normal' is based on what everyone else in their own environment views as that.

The part that many people fail to consider is that what they view as 'better' or 'impressive' usually is totally different than the perspectives of the people from different environments or even different 'social-economic classes'.

Case in point. When I was in university, I was there to study hard and launch my professional career. I viewed my career as starting the day I started university, and not the day after I had graduated and actually started making a paycheck. The people I looked up to and respected were the people who were also doing the same things I was doing, and studying daily, getting A's, and building their career potential every single day. Those are the people that I thought were 'impressive', 'better', or the 'best'. To a point, I also only 'respected' people who were in good physical shape and exercised fairly regularly. The funny thing is that it never occurred to me at first that other people didn't consider that the most 'impressive' or the 'best'. But I had no point-of-reference to contrast that belief. All my friend's and peers thought as I did.

An example. I remember one time in my graduating year after I had completed (or was in the process of completing) all my degree requirements. I could actually take a few 'elective' courses outside of my degree. I always loved pscychology, so took a second and third year psychology course for personal interest. At the time I considered any Arts course to be a 'rubber' course, because it didn't require near as many hours of study and practice as the Science courses that I was taking. Admitedly, I looked down on Arts students unless they were in an after graduate (Master's or Ph.D.) program. So did everyone else that was a dedicated student in the Sciences (or other specific disciplines like Commerce and such).

There was this one attractive girl in my psych class that I sat next to and would talk to regularly. She was attractive, but I had no interest in her because she was an 'Arts student'. That's just the mind set I had. I did feel myself in a way 'superior' because I was in a much more difficult discipline. (Once again, so did everyone else in my 'environment'.) Meanwhile, I'm sure she though herself in a way 'superior' to me because she probably saw me as somewhat of a 'geek' in her eyes. That's the perspective she would have based on her 'environment'. In human nature terms, we were just being the exact same way. Products of 0ur environments.

The reason I became aware of this is because one day I was at my locker and she walked past with a friend and I said 'hello' (as we often talked together in class). She looked right at me (we were five feet apart) and pretended not to know me because she either didn't want her friend to know that seh knew me, or was afraid that I was interested in dating her. This made me laugh. I wasn't interested in her. In my mind, she wasn't in 'my league'. And it occured to me, in her mind, she felt the same about me.

This is just a sample of what happens in every environment or society of life. We just naturally assume that our environment's perspectives are the 'best' and due to the fact that we are rarely exposed to a contrasting view because we have a tendency to stick to our own 'kind' who think that same way that we do, we are often unaware or surprised that people don't think in the same way as to what is 'right' or 'normal' or 'better'.

The truth is, that none is 'better'. Each one is just different. I may think someone is 'unaware' because they don't 'know' the same things as I do becasue they've never been exposed to the same teachings or concepts or experiences as I. So you 'could' say they are therefore 'unaware' of how I perceive because of it. But I am also 'unaware'. I don't know the things that they know unless I've lived their lives, and learned from the same experiences and perspectives as they have. Neither one is better or worse, or more aware for that matter. We just know different things, and think differently based on 'what we know'. In reality, we are still all being the same as we are judging the world and forming our perspectives based on our own personal life's experiences.

Until I started truly living and understanding other 'environments' these concepts never truly occurred to me. How human. How we are all so different, and yet so very much the same all at the same time.

I could elaborate much more than this, and originally was going to go into more detail. But I don't feel like it, and it's not really necessary anyway.

Fresh Blood

When I first started hanging out at the VIP (and the other bars on that neighborhood) I still was stuck in the mindset of someone that came from 'my environment'. That would be the corporate professional environment where everyone around you had university or college degrees, and worked very specific and very professional jobs. Jobs that for the most part didn't only require a degree, but very specific degrees or specific training. The girls I dated in university were the same as me. Dedicated students who for the most part studied six to seven nights a week and got mostly A's (usually in one of the science disciplines). I was also athletic in university, lifting wieghts and playing in a men's rugby league.

Upon graduating university I chose from a number of job offers for above average pay. I met Alison, (whom years later I married) the summer after I graduated. She didn't have a degree at all, but was just as intelligent as any of the women I'd dated before (and a little more 'aware' due to more varied life's experiences). When I eventually put her through college, she did get mostly A grades. I also continued staying in shape by playing sports and lifting weights regularly throughout my 20's.

I was living this lifestyle, continuing to build on my successes right up until a couple of weeks earlier. Now I was hanging out in the 'bar scene'. I've changed my perspectives somewhat since due to living more varied life's experiences, but what people don't realize is that at the time I still had a pretty inflated ego. The same as anyone else from 'my environment'. I'll admit it, it is somewhat short-sighted and even perhaps 'snobbish'. People not from that environment have a totally different perspective of what's 'impressive'. Just different views.

I had already had my meaningless fun 'rebound sex' while I was partying with all the hood girls. That was out of the way. Now I was being much more 'particular' when it came to women. To a point anyway. As far as hanging out with and talking to people, I would talk to and enjoy the company of anyone. As far as noncommital s_x went, I would have that with anyone attractive and in half decent shape. But as far anything else, like dating or 'relationships' I still had very high standards. I always had. Besides, I really wasn't looking for anything real yet anyway. My nine year relationship had just ended and I now needed time and space to figure out who I now was as an 'individual' and which path my new life would lead me on. At first, I wasn't really looking to hook up with anybody.

So for the first month or two I was just hanging out. Drinking and partying with Bill and then the karaoke crowd. Socializing and talking with whomever, and basically treating everyone as 'bar friends'. More specifically, I wasn't hitting on anyone (except maybe GFX -- but I always knew that to be a 'work in progress' anyway). This isn't usual for a typical 'barfly'. Which at first made all the barfly women think I was shy.

I was new to everyone on these bar scenes. Fresh blood. So then came the 'first wave'. I kind of refer to it as the 'bottom feeders'. All the barfly women that are generally not very intelligent, and not exactly in 'great shape' that are looking for 'a man'. At first I got hit on left and right by all sorts of women that I had no interest in. Being the type of person that speaks my heart and mind well, and being one not nearly as shy as they mistook me for, I had no problem turning them down. Politely, but firmly and decisively. Some of them were more persistent and I eventually had to be more firm and at times insulting before they 'got it', but eventually they got the hint and let it go. (Except one girl named Connie that developed a huge crush on me that lasted over a year before she quit persisting. I had to get very insulting with her eventually.)

After that, once I got more familiar with 'the environment' and started hanging out with all the more 'popular' people at the bar, things seemed to start changing. Now I was starting to catch the attention of more of the 'higher class' women on the bar scene. I also was much more familiar with this bar scene now and was getting much more flirtatious and outgoing as well. Eventually I'll talk about some of the more memorable people in more detail.

For now, I just wanted to mention this because I found this 'natural order' of things interesting.

I also learned from observing my friends and roommates over the next couple of years that most men on the bar scene are pigs and have no standards what so ever when it comes to f#cking chicks from the bar. These guys were some of the more outgoing and desireable people on the bar scene, but at the end of the night would go home with literally anyone that came on to them. They would also lie, and deceive and say anything if it meant getting laid. Even if they already had girlfriends. This is something that I never could get a grip on or understand.

the VIP

The VIP was FULL of fun and interesting people. Especially on karaoke night. But even on regular days there were a full compliment of interesting people, guys and girls, at any time of day. Most of them are regulars. But they all had their own 'schedule'. There were the after work regulars that would get there anywhere from 4:00 until 6:00p, and generally left by 8:00 or 9:00p. There was the night time crowd that usually filtered in around 8:00 or 9:00 (but sometimes 7:00ish as well). There was also the daytime 'staples' that were generally just there. Any time. There was also the 'weekenders' who would be there day and night but usually only on the weekends. Many of the weekenders were also part of the after work crowd. Of course karaoke night was the night that the place was PACKED! Especially Wednesday night. The first two years I was going to the VIP, there wasn't a better bar in Columbus on a Wednesday night.

Karaoke started at 9:00p. By 9:00 on the nose, the bar was standing room only. It wasn't a large bar to begin with, about 40 to 50 people could sit around the circular bar, and there was an additional 10 to 12 tables that could fit about four to a table. There was one pool table, one dart board, and a jukebox which was next to the small stage and screen that the karaoke KJ was set up at for karoke night. Also one small buffet table at the back corner where food was sometimes put out.

By 9:00p on karaoke night (especially Wednesday) there was at least 100 people already there. By 10:00p it would be 120 - 150 people. There would be about 24 different karaoke singers in the nightly rotation, at least 12 to 15 (or more) of them would have their first song selections in by 9:00 on the nose. The bar had a good mix of men and women, roughly 60% men and 40% women. Most were in their 20's, and another large percentage in their early 30's, as well as some in their 40's. EVERYBODY at this bar was into fun and partying. The patrons were all about mixing with one another and often went home with each other after hours.

Karaoke and pool were the center of attention. With one pool table, everyone put their name on the chalk board to play and the winner kept going. There was always 10 or more names on the board at any given time. The pool table had it's own rotation and the players were mostly all 'regulars' on the table. Unofficially everyone knew where they 'ranked' as far as best to worst at the table. But there was lots of good competition and some of them (not me and my friends) took it WAY too personally. Those are the ones that I LOVED to beat, because you could see they actually 'cared' when they won or lost. None of those guys sang karoke. The karaoke crowd only cared about having fun (and many were there to get laid as well).

When I started hanging out at the VIP I was only 'mediocre' at pool. While being married I'd only shoot pool a few times a year. But now that I was single and at the bars every night, I was shooting pool pretty much every night. It didn't take long before I started getting quite good. In fact, the way I always put it was that I wasn't good at pool, but I beat good players all the time. Mind you, they beat me as well. But I could hold my own against any of them and within a few months I could hold the table as long as any of them. Which REALLY pissed off the 'pool only' crowd because they actually cared about pool (rather than fun) and it was their source of pride to be able to hold the table. Meanwhile, all me and my friends cared about was having a great time, lots of fun, and wild reckless abandon, especially with the ladies. Before long, we were doing as well as they were at pool, only we only cared because we knew how much it pissed them off. It was funny, and to us EVERYTHING was about the fun.

Karaoke is what really ruled. The first few months that I hung out at the VIP, I didn't sing. I was a good singer as a child and really enjoyed it. But as an adult, it had been over 12 years since I had sang anything. My voice just wasn't there any more. But most of the fun karaoke singers also shot pool. So I got to know them, and I would hang out with all of them, sit at the bar or tables with them, and join in on the 'pitcher' rotations. (A group of us would all share the $5 pitchers of beer and all take turns buying.) Of course Bill was with me as well, but as I mentioned earlier, once he got drunk he just didn't fit in with the rest of us because of his 'hood boy' mentality. He's used to the hood, and the hood has totally different rules and mind sets than 'regular society'.

It's not quite like this anymore (or maybe it's because I'm not as young looking anymore), but back then (2000, 2001, 2002) the good or even decent karaoke singers in the bar were treated with a semi-celebrity status. Most of the fun people in the bar were single and there to socialize and hopefully get laid. Or at least flirt and/or make out with the other fun people. The girls (and guys for that matter) paid most attention to the karoke singers. I think it had a lot to do with the fact it gave them an 'in' as something to talk about. Go up and tell him how good he or she did at their song. How great their voice was. Can you sing this song for me?, etc. etc. The bottom line is that the karoke singers had more fun and got laid more than anyone. Luckily, because I was hanging out with all the karaoke crowd I eventually got included in this category. In fact, long before I ever started singing, because all my best friends were the karaoke regulars, women would be coming up to me to ask what I was singing that night.

The most beautiful thing about the VIP (and other bars in the 'karoke circuit') was that for the most part the women would approach you and hit on you without you even having to hit on them. That's what made karaoke so 'magical' back then. EVERYONE just wanted to have fun, flirt, make out, and get laid. I was living the dream...

You Didn't Just Say That!

The first night that we went to the VIP was a tuesday. There was this really cool hot chick behind the bar named Katie. She was about 25 years old. Being a tuesday it was pretty slow, but that didn't stop me and Bill from having our usual blast of a time. Katie talked to us most of the night. Then I found out that she had a Irish and German heritage. Two of my three favourites! I told her I was in love! We eventually left there to go to Rosie's. As we were walking out I jokingly said to Bill, "She's my future wife, she just doesn't know it yet!" That's why we nicknamed her GFW. Which stands for Glen's Future Wife (my name is Glen). A few weeks later, after I got to know her volatile personality a little better I re-nicknamed her GFX, for Glen's Future Ex-Wife.

We dropped into the VIP again on Thursday. Behind the bar was this other super hot cool chick. She couldn't have been any more than 22 years old. Her name was Emily, but we nicknamed her "MyGirl" because she was just SOOOOO sweet and cute! Sitting at the bar was this other hot cool chick who also was a bartender there. She was 22 as well. We sat with her and chatted her up all night. Her name was Lindsay, but we nicknamed her "Smiley" because she made a point to never smile. This of course is a challenge for me, because I LOVE to make people smile, and always can. So I preceded to make her smile and laugh all night. So far, we were LOVING this bar!

We went back the next night and ANOTHER cool hot chick was behind the bar. She was in her 30's and we'd eventually nickname her "Wild Child" due to an incident that happened a couple weeks later. That was when we started hanging out at the 'other' karaoke bars and she was a patron at one of them. Totally sh!t-faced drunk, wearing HOT tight biker leather, and hanging all over her biker boyfriend (whom we later got to know). She recognized us from across the bar and ran over and jumped in our laps. Then nearly fell over because she was so drunk. Her man eventually had to come and get her before she passed out.

But back to Friday night at the VIP. This night, both Smiley and GFW were sitting at a table as patrons. Which was awesome! I did have a thing for GFW! After a little while I went over and chatted with them for a bit. At one point I asked GFW, "So, what's the chances of getting to know you better?" She replied rather tactfully, "If you keep hanging out at this bar, then you'll get to know me better." I said, "Fair enough." I chatted a while longer and eventually went back to my seat at the bar. Me and Bill were sitting at the corner of the bar near the jukebox. Towards the end of the night, GFW was feeding the jukebox right next to us. So I got up and started chatting with her again. After a moment I asked, "So seriously, what is the chance of getting to know you better?" She says, "Seriously?" I say, "Yes". She then points to the guy standing five feet away whos intensely GLARING at me, and says, "That's my man right there." I look at him. He's just this short little dark haired guy in his mid 30's. He really doesn't look like much. I look at him. (He's glaring.) Then look back at her, and say, "Oh,....So when are you breaking up with him?"

Bill is sitting next to where I'm standing and says, "Oh, you didn't just say that!" And then just breaks down laughing. I couldn't hold a straight face either, and I start laughing also. In fact, me and Bill were always laughing and having fun over something. Katie responds back to me, "When hell freezes over!" But even she was smiling and almost laughing with us.

This guy's name was Mark. What I DIDN'T know, is that he was the bar's owner! Oops. How was I to know?

The other thing is that he and Katie (GFW) were having problems, and she was soon to dump him.

From that day on, Mark (whom we soon nicknamed "YoBoy" and "Junior" for incidents that occur at a later date) serously disliked me! But we didn't really care. We found it rather amusing. It's not like he was going to bar us or anything. We drank a lot every time we were there and were fun patrons that everyone liked. Mark is a small business owner and wants to make his profits. Mark was always 'civil' to me, but never hid his disdain for me and spoke to me as little as possible. Meanwhile, he did like our patronage so ALWAYS treated Bill extremeley well, talking to him like they are old best buddies.

Me and Bill started hanging out there almost nightly. We were always laughing and having fun so all the fun people liked to hang with us and share in the fun. GFW was the bar manager, so was always there, and usually not behind the bar. Usually she was talking to and shooting pool with the patrons. Mark FOREBADE her from talking with us, but whenever he wasn't around she was always hanging out with us. Every time Mark would leave and then come back, she would be over with us (and all the other fun patrons with us). This made Mark dislike me even more.

Oh well.

Hood Girls

Well, one of the 'draws' of hanging out in the North Hood were the fact that the girls were for the most part loose and easy. Most of them were crack and/ or cocaine users as well and if you wanted cheap and easy sex from an attractive young women, pretty much all you had to do was be along for the party and be willing to share a line or a 'hit' of the white. Sometimes it didn't even take that. Sometimes just being there was enough. But it usually was about the 'white'.

That first month I was single and hanging with Bill, I really didn't care about being 'ethical' or even being 'myself' for that matter. The North Hood was perfect for that mentality. I hadn't been single or dating (besides my wife of course) in over nine years. Of course I wanted to have s_x, but wasn't ready for an actual relationship, not with anyone 'real' anyway. I just wanted to party and have some wild fun with people who didn't care who I was or what was going to happen 'tomorrow'. Once again, the North Hood was perfect.

Seeing I was young looking and in decent shape, not to mention a social guy who could 'blend' into a situation or environment, there was opportunity to bang some hood girls and I (or we) took them. I won't relate all of it, but I will talk about a few of the more unusual times.

One good looking girl around our age that we met in our travels decided to come home with us after hours and go hottubbing. I believe she was a stripper. Actually, most decent looking hood girls are or at least were at one point strippers. We got back to my place, I cracked some beers, we stripped off our clothes and got in the hottub. Things were going good. We were both making out with her, but I think she reached her alcohol limit or something. While she was talking she kept dipping her beer bottle under the water. I told her to be carefull and she laughed and then dumped her beer in the tub intentionally. Well that was enough of the hottubbing and we went upstairs to the bedroom but she was getting all weird and loud and I think started reverting back to unpleasant memories from her past. She started yelling something about being raped and we weren't even having s_x yet. Enough of that! We said "You've gotsta go!" She had her own car so all we had to do was point her to it. I don't have any clue how she was able to drive, but she couldn't stay at my place. Not acting like that. So no hood girl s_x that particular night. Oh well. Bill was saying, "We should have raped that bitch then dropped her off somewhere! She's so drunk that she wouldn't have any memory of it or who or where we were anyway." Probably true, but I definitely wasn't going to go there. Better off just getting her out of our hair!

There was this other chick that we met at a party that we were meeting Dave at. I think we went there to buy more 'stuff' that we can resell to Jeff and Jack. Anyway, Dave invited us to stay at the party for a while so we did. We got talking to this one chick who also knew Dave and she decided that she wanted to come home with us. I figure she though we were going to smoke a whole pile of crack, but we only had about $30 worth. (That was for consumption anyway.) We did smoke that, and when that was done we had s_x all night long. Me and Bill didn`t mind sharing. There was plenty to go around and we could stay away from each other. I took the high road, and he took the low road. Then we switched. The thing about doing just a little bit of crack (or cocaine for that matter) before having sex is that you can still get a normal erection and it feels just as good as always, but you just don`t orgasm. Or at least you can go FOREVER without an orgasm. It`s totally different if you do more than just a little bit, because then you cannot get or maintain an erection if you do too much of the white. Anyway, we f#cked her for hours. She was loving it. At the end, we were laying on top my bed and I still had an erection because I never did orgasm. She looked at me and said, "I know what to do about that!" Then she started sucking me like a professional. It took her at least a half an hour to finish the job. Bill was grabbing her head and pushing it into me. She would just say, "Hey, I don't need help. I know what I'm doing!" And she did. Fun stuff.

We finished up around 7:00a, and it was a weekday so I had to go to work. I called in to the office and told them that I would be about an hour or two late. Then I got showered up and dropped them off near Bill's house on my way to work. One more day.

We called this chick "Scooby" because she referred to crack hits as "Scooby snacks". She called me up about a week or so later on a Saturday morning. Bill of course slept the night on the couch. It was maybe 8:30a and we were still sleeping. But she was telling me that she had some new s_x toys and wanted to know if she should come over. I said, "Sure, come on by." I was in bed anyway. Morning s_x sounded fine to me. I imagine that we would be expected to do a 'hit' first. But oh well. We did have some stashed away. She never did show up though. We eventually got up and were making dinner/ breakfast and she showed up around 1:00p. A little late. Morning was over and we were ready to start our day. By that point we were kinda' pissed off to see her as she was supposed to show up hours earlier. So we told her that she was too late and we didn't have any more 'stuff'. She pulled out some of her s_x toys and asked us if we were sure, but we said yes. You should leave. Then the dumb bitch gets her van stuck in the ditch while pulling out of my driveway. It took me and Bill over an hour to get her van out so she could be on her way. We did have some stuff still, so we went inside. Did a hit. Chilled for a while. Then went on our way looking for the next adventure. One more day. That was the last we heard of Scooby though.

There was this other stripper slut that we met along our way one time. She told us she wanted to do a hit of crack, and we told her that we'd give her a hit if she'd f#ck both of us. She agreed. We took her to my place. Up in my room we stripped down and started playing with her lovely little body. True to our word, we loaded up a hit for her. We each did one. That's the magic number if you plan on having s_x right away. Then we layed on my bed, me and Bill on either side of her. I guess the hit was sinking in for her, and she started moaning and rubbing herself quite vigorously. I said, "What the f#ck?" I just leaned back and watched her. She didn't even know we were still there. She just closed her eyes and was getting herself off. I said, "This is too weird, Bill. She's all yours." Then I got up and went downstairs. A few minutes later Bill came down stairs too saying, "She's up there all alone playing with herself. Dumb bitch!" She came downstairs a little while later and actually asked us if we could go get more crack! We said, "No, and yous gotsta Go!" So we dropped her off back in the neighborhood we found her.

Hood girls. They are a trip! So long as you kow how to talk to them anyway.

There was a few other hood girls that we did on our own - no sharing, and it was fun and all good 'for a minute' but after a few weeks of that it grew old. We wanted to move on to 'real' girls, and to leave the hood behind. Bill suggested we try a different bar closer to my part of town. It was called the VIP. So that's where we went...

Hood Life

Around that first month that I was hanging out with Bill. I mean going out every night. We went to a lot of places and a lot of bars but we also spent a lot of time hanging out in the North Hood. After all, that is where Bill had grown up and where all his friend's lived. We would also drop by various 'friends' of his after the bars were closed so we could have a few more drinks before calling it a night.

This exposed me to a lot of people, places, and lifestyles that I would have otherwise never known. I won't relay all of the times with you, but I will write about some of it.

Most of Bill's 'friends' or acquaintances is more like the term, or pretty much anyone that grew up in those neighbourhoods were functional crack and/ or cocaine users. It was just as much a part of their lifestyles as beer was. When I say 'functional' crack/ cocaine users I mean that they all use as part of their lifestyles, but it hasn't affected their lives much more than alcohol has. They live their normal lives, have their careers (at least most of them work anyway), don't look sickly or like 'crack heads', and pretty much are normal people. They don't sit around and use crack all day. They use it just as people use beer or alcohol or weed for that matter. Mind you, this drug starts getting to anyone over continued use. Functional users can remain that way for years even, but usually eventually become addicts or crack heads if they don't quit using over time. Once again, I'm not promoting the drug. It catches up to anyone and starts impacting their lives more and more if they keep using it. Many people cannot be function users either. They become addicts or crack heads pretty much as soon as they start using it. But that is dependent upon the person too. I will say this as well, it is a drug that can creeps up on you too. Even the functional users will crave it more and more and will be willing to do more and more to get it as time that they've been a user goes on. It is a very addictive drug.

Me and Bill were occassional users at this point as well. But we didn't use it while we were out. If we used, we generally bought a little bit at the end of the night and smoked it at my place after hours while talking or watching TV. This didn't last long though as it turns out that Bill used to be much more of a heavy user, and once we started using occassionally he got much more into wanting to use it more. I talked something about that in a prior post.

Anyway, hanging out with Bill in his neighborhood did expose me to a lot of users and their lifestyle. There was one time me and Bill were drinking in his neighborhood (at Dreamer's Lounge) and after hours dropped by a friends house for a couple more drinks. They didn't have any crack at the time, but this was a crack house. Let me describe it to you. First of all, we got there at around 3:00 am. They had a son, who was about five years old. He was in the front yard sitting on his tricycle when we got there. Bill talked to him and asked if his dad was home, and he replied that he was in the house. So we knocked on the door and went in. He cracked us a beer and we sat around talking while we drank the beer. Let me describe the house. It was a small house. Two bedrooms I suppose, but I only saw the kitchen, living room, and bathroom. The furniture was old but functional and there was no carpet. On the kitchen couters and living room coffee table were plates of half eaten food that were just left sitting out. You could see baby cockroaches occassionally running around these plates of food. At one point, I asked to use the bathroom. Running around the toilet were more baby cockroaches. This is the environment that these people were raising their children in. It was quite eye opening.

This also reminds me of the 'three sisters'. I was out with Bill one evening and we were going to pick up a friend of his and go to a party. His friend lived with the three sisters. The sisters were middle men crack addicts. That means that they knew a local crack dealer. I think it was a relative in fact. Most dealers will only deal to people they know. So, when people wanted crack they would go the the sisters house with their money. The sisters would call their dealer and arrange a meeting. Then the sisters would buy the stuff, take their own cut out of it, and sell it to the buyer. Then the sisters would dissapear into their room and use their share. The sisters house looked just like the other house, but even worse. It was bigger. There were PILES of dirty dishes, pots, and pans all over the entire surface area of the kitchen. I mean piles over all the counter tops, and all over the kitchen table as well as on the coffee table in the living room. At least I don't recall seeing any cockroaches while I was there. But that doesn't mean they didn't have them as well. At least there was no children being raised in this environment.

These are a few of the more extreme places that I visited with Bill though. Most of the places we went to were nice well kept houses, that looked like anyone's home.

One place we dropped into which was on the same street as Bill's house was owned by some guys from backwoods Kentucky. They were hillbillies. The house was clean, but cluttered with papers and stuff. Nothing too out of the ordinary. But what was funny about them is that they were completely open about crack smoking. They would sit in their kitchen, or even on their front porch and smoke crack like it wasn't any different than a cigarette. We had a beer with them, and one of them was sitting at the table doing a hit while we talked to him. That's pretty unusual for crack use. But if you keep to small hits you won't get all weirded out when you use it.

Anyway, it was interesting to see, but pretty sad in reality. Me and Bill hung around his neighborhood for a few weeks, but after the novelty wore off I stopped spending time around there except to visit a few of the bars. It`s not a lifestyle for me except to maybe visit once in a while for the novelty.

Disclaimer

Once again, I want to iterate that though these stories are all about me and a bunch of 'crazies' and that I am getting more and more introduced to society's losers and to the crack/ cocaine drug culture that was never part of my life before this. I didn't consider it part of my life at that point either but I was always curious about the lifestyle and that was part of the 'draw' with hanging out with Bill and his 'hood crowd'. I wanted to 'understand' how people that live this way think. It's also mostly that I didn't want to think. I couldn't think. I still had WAY too much pain inside from my failed marriage and my heart was still way too hurt and 'flailing' to be able to feel the pain that I was feeling.

My world had always been about success and living a proper lifestyle. For the first ten years of my adult life my focus was entirely about studying and learning, career success, building a loving relationship with my wife, building a financially secure future, and continually improving my mind, body, and spirit. That was the life that I had always lived, and that is the life I assumed I would always live. That is still what I consider my 'real' life.

I was still in complete shock from my marriage failing and Alison leaving. I was in too much pain and too much shock to be able to deal with it yet. So I needed a diversion so that I wouldn't have to think about it. Work and building my career was my main focus. But that was also falling apart for the first time ever. After the first two or three weeks of hanging out with Bill, I was ready to focus more on career again. But my project was hell, and I needed an escape from that as well. Which is why I was going out and drinking so much.

Then I got out of that project and was placed on the team to write the proposal for the next retirements systems project. Once I was starting that, I started going home at 11:00p on week nights so that I could be fresh for work and produce a quality job. But after four weeks of writing and completing the proposal the client delayed the project an additional six months. So then I was placed 'on the bench' which means I was unattached to a project. Which means you didn't go to a client site, you instead reported to the office and worked on whatever small side projects they had or else you studied. But it was the Christmas season and no new projects were starting until the new year. So the bench was full of people that had just finished up projects. So after a week of being at the office, they told me that they didn't have desks for us on the bench, so could stay at home and study. I was studying to take the PMI (Project Management Institute) exam. But it also meant that I didn't have to be up in the morning. So I was able to stay out all night again. I would generally get up around 10:00a and study for my exam for about four or five hours. Then call Bill around 5:00p and go out. I had just started doing this the week I was seeing Melanie as well. This is why I didn't have to go to work that Monday morning when she called in sick.

So, I could focus on studying throughout the day. But couldn't stay home alone in the evening because all I would do then was to focus on how much pain my heart was feeling and how confused I was from everything collapsing the way that it did. Drinking and partying was a way to keep my mind off of thinking about it. Not to mention that we were having tremendous fun and were meeting lots of interesting and different people.

I had only lived a student, and professional, and a married lifestyle up to that point. I was always curious about how 'the other half' lived. I was curious about how people that lived a drug cultured or reckless lifestyle lived and thought. It was all new to me, and I was interested in understanding it. Exposing myself to it. Not to mention that it was wild and crazy fun.

The other thing is this. It was completely different from my 'lifestyle'. For the time being, I couldn't remain in my lifestyle because all that did was make me think about my life and what had happened to it. I still had no idea what went wrong and why. It was too shocking, and too painfully confusing, and too emotional for me to be able to think about. I wanted to stay away from anything that made me think about my life and my failed marriage. I would have probably slid into a depression if I had to think about it. For my own sanity, I needed to find a temporary escape. So for the first few weeks, I just allowed Bill to decide what we were doing and I went along with it. It is what I needed, and it also taught me a whole lot of things that I was curious about and would never otherwise have the opportunity to learn.

So for a time being, I stepped away from my world and hovered around the fringes of Bill's world instead...

Even when I was inside of it, I never considered it my world. I was there, but just an outside observer. It was like I was watching it all in an interactive movie. Fascinating though...

Spontaneous Writing

Oh yes, I just realized that I forgot to include the first poem that I wrote the other night (while getting drunk). Here's it is:


"What a Fool"

I have loved and I have wondered about love. What is it that makes love real? A fool in love is still a fool. But he does know love. With that knowledge can he truly be a fool? Ah, love. I do so miss that. I do so envy that fool.


While I have it here, I may as well include the spontaneous writing that I was doing before I started writing the poetry. Like I say, I was at a friend's house just talking and chilling and she wanted to do some writing. So I decided to write too. We also started drinking beers when we started writing, so eventually were on our way to being drunk by the time we finished the writing. Then we got hammered while watching some movies. It was one more of those nights. But, here's what I wrote:

"Life is a never ending process. At times I just like to stare out the window and watch life move on by... I like watching the wind in the trees and I envision the sound that it makes. There's something about the wind and the trees that have a serine effect on me. It reminds me of distance and time and space and somehow it allows me to feel connected to my past present and future. I can feel a part of it.

Have you ever stood outside in the middle of a raging thunderstorm? The serine beauty of it is awe inspiring. I love wathcing that hammering rain smash the pavement like machine gun bursts. Then the lightning that forks down with a brilliant crack and a flash of energy that lights up the sky and makes all known. Following that you wait for the slow rolling thunder that explodes in a burst and then flows with that rolling rumble that tells you this is in the distance. Now in your past. I am a small piece of energy in this glorious display of natures fury and beauty.

God is here on Earth and I am a humbled mortal man. But at that moment I am alive.

Once again the wind. Howling it's rage through the trees and telling us that it is in charge. I love to feel it wash through me and connect me with the universe. I close my eyes and become part of it. I am a child of the universe and we are all connected through the wind and the beauty of the elements. I am here. I belong. And I am one...

Have you stood in nature at night? Out in the wilderness, under the moon and stars. Once again it is the wind through the trees that whispers it's secrets to you. Whoosh, whoosh, swish, and a ripple over the water. Close your eyes and drink it all in. The crickets chirp their lovely steady song. Over and over relentlessly. It is an orchastra that joins the steady rippling of the tides and the swaying of the trees. I stand there perfectly still and am part of it. It is the song and music of nature. My soul reaches out and joins this dance. We are all alive. We are one...

Where do feelings come from? Do you ever notice that they always seem to start at the heart and then branch out to the rest of your body?Why is that?

Love is a flow that seems to connect. It flows out yet fills your heart at the same time. How does it do that?..."

That's where I finished the writing and then decided to write poetry. Starting with the one at the start of this post titled "What a Fool".

Drunken Poetry

I was drinking at a friend's house last night and we were doing spontaneous writing. I eventually decided to write some poetry. I don't think it's all that bad either. Keep in mind I wrote all these short poems in less than an hour and I was drinking beer at the time. Here they are:

This one is my favourite of the bunch, but was the third one that I wrote:

"Why?"

Love. It usually ends in pain. But we keep going back to it anyway. Why? Because nothing rivals it. I will take every pain imaginable for the possibility of love. Why? Because nothing rivals it.


"Dancer"

To dance is to dream and to dream is to dance. Is the dreamer the dancer or the dancer the dreamer? Ah, I suppose time will tell. At least we're still dancing. Dance you dreamer. Dance.


This next one never started out as a poem, but it kind of ended up as one:

"Me"

I've never been understood. In the end, that's never really bothered me. Not much anyway. It has made life a little more difficult though. But so what? Difficulty makes you think. Thinking. Is that a good thing? I hope so. It's all I seem to be able to do. What I can tell you is that as much as I am misunderstood, anyone that takes the time to know me learns to love me. That's a good thing isn't it? I think so. I love me. That's the important thing. The rest of the world can catch up to me later.


"Anyway"

No matter how much life gets f#cked upI love it anyway. How crazy is that? I don't care. I love it anyway.


"Emotions"

Emotions are real. It doesn't matter if they are warranted or not. The emotions are still real.

Superman is born

It was the weekend after I had met Melanie but before we started dating. I picked Bill up Friday after work. We did our usual bar hopping and of course drinking. After hours we went back to my house and continued drinking into the next day. I imagine we crashed at some point, but who knows, there was a lot of 'all-nighters' back then.

The next day, Bill wanted to go to the South side of town to visit a friend. We grabbed a six pack of beer 'for the road' and we went to his friends place. Once again, I let Bill drive as we were drinking. I pretty much always let Bill drive once we started drinking. We got to his friend's place and there was a bunch of them there partying. We joined in.

At some point some cute chick said they were all going to buy some crack and asked if we wanted to join in. Me and Bill threw in $20 each and she went on her way for a pick up. We continued to drink with her man and the others at the party.

She eventually returned with the goods and we loaded up and did some hits. Me and Bill had done crack together twice before, but this was my first time using an actual crack pipe (which is essentially a straight glass pipe with some chore boy in it). They showed me the proper way to load it, and how to rotate the pipe as you lit the hit and the proper ways to puff on it to get the best out of your hit. Once again, it really is a remarkably wonderful feeling of a high. Also once again, I wouldn't recommend it for anyone as most people completely f#ck up their lives once they start getting into it.

Let's talk about crack for a brief moment. The high is like no other. At least as far as I know. I've only done a few different types of narcotics. But a crack high hits you instantaneously. While you are exhaling you get an instant release in the back of your head, at your spinal column. It instantly takes all stress and tension out of you. You are also hit with a wave of euphoria and everything seems to slow down and relax. Your brain seems to move slower and if you talk you sound like you are half asleep. It drops every care or concern you have and you just feel this slow euphoric relaxed warmth. You feel good. You just feel like sitting back and 'chillin'. Endorphins are also released in the back of your head and it honestly feels very similar to the the euphoric feeling you get when you orgasm. The euphoric feeling lasts maybe five or ten minutes then dissipates. The slowness and relaxation lasts maybe an hour or two. This is what it feels like when you do small hits. Doing larger hits has a much more extreme effect as well as some less than pleasant side effects. Coming down is a different experience and also varies depending on the size of your hits and how much you smoked. I'll talk about it in more detail some other time.

Anyway, we sat around the table passing the pipe around and using up all our hits. $20 each doesn't go very far so we were all used up within an hour or two. Like I said, we were only doing small hits so there was no 'noiding' or 'weirdness' to it. Just the pleasant affects. We continued drinking and partying for another couple of hours.

As me and Bill were preparing to leave, 'little Chickadee' wanted us to give her a ride so she could pick up more crack. It was in the direction we were heading anyway. So we drove her to her supplier's place which was in this building in an industrial section of town. She asked if we wanted any more and we decided to pitch in another $20 each to use later. But then she never came back.

We went back to her man's house, rather pissed off from her stealing our money and Bill threatened to beat or kill her and him if we didn't get our money back. Everyone knows that Bill can get a little crazy at times and everyone believed that he would follow through on his threat. So he apologized for her and gave Bill $40. We thanked him (sort of) and were on our way.

I don't think we did sleep the night before because I was feeling pretty wiped out. As usual, I let Bill drive. We got on the Interstate to head back to my side of town and I dozed off in the passenger seat. I awoke abruptly to my car doing spins at 70 mph on the Interstate highway. Somehow Bill had lost control of the car and we were now in a tail spin. We spun around about three rotations and then the front bumper hit the guard rail and somehow that caused the car to stop spinning and to straighten itself out going the correct way on the Intersate. So here we are travelling at highway speed normally on the interstate as if we were never spinning in the first place. There wasn't even a single scratch on the car or any indication that we almost got into a serious accident in my black dodge neon.

It all happened so fast we didn't even have time to get scared, mad, or concerned. It was kind of like we were watching the whole thing on a movie screen. All I could say to Bill was, "What the F#ck was that?" Bill replied with a chuckle and said, "Relax G, I got us out of it didn't I?" All I could respond with was, "Ya, I suppose so." Then I smiled and laughed. All's well that ends well I suppose.

From then on, we called that car "Superman".

This Dating Thing is Easy...

Well, eventually I want to get to talking about the things going on in my current life and the things that are currently on my mind. There's plenty of recent thoughts and events that I would like to write about as well. However, I really do want to get this personal history of my past nine years recorded. Especially the first two years after me and my wife parted ways. It would also allow good insight into the events that have motivated or altered my life. I guess that means I have to try and write a little more regularly in order to 'catch up' to current day.

So, let us talk about Melanie for a moment. It was about three or four weeks into my nightly partying with Bill. By this time we were just starting to hang out at the other karaokee bars (besides just the VIP) and it was the first week we were selling 'stuff' to Jeff and Jack.

It was a Thursday night and we went to Eldorados bar because they were having karaoke that night. We got there at about 8:00p (when we usually got to the bar). Karaoke doesn't start until 9:00p and the bar is pretty sparse until then. Me and Bill were shooting pool with this f#cked up red-headed chick with crooked teeth. I may mention her sometime as she developed quite the crush and even obsession over me in the next year or two, but we'll save that for another time. She DEFINITELY wasn't my type. Her life was full of drama, she wasn't very intelligent, and she was well overweight. Three huge strikes and an OUT right there! Anyway, I digress.

A little while later this good looking chick named Melanie (who was there alone) asked if she could shoot pool with us. We of course said, "sure". Same as us, apparently this was the first time that Melanie had been to this bar. Meanwhile there was this other regular at that bar that was also shooting pool with us. This other dude (whom over the years I later got to know) was hitting pretty hardcore on Melony but she wasn't really giving him the time-of-day. On the other hand, me and Melony were hitting it off rather well and we were both talking lots and flirting quite heavily with one another.

In the meantime, Bill was on the phone with Jeff and Jack seeing if we could make a little 'side money' for the evening. It also made Bill feel really 'big' because he could talk and act like a 'real' drug dealer. So anyway, Bill comes and says "We gotsta Go! There is a business deal that we have to make." So, I talked a little more with Melanie before excusing myself, but not before getting her phone number for a date "sometime soon". Me and Bill left, did the Jeff and Jack thing for a while, then went bar hopping elsewhere. We also had a crazy weekend in another part of town so I didn't get calling Melanie until maybe Tuesday after work (yes, I was still working at this point).

When I called her we talked for a few hours, getting to know one another and all that stuff. I let her know that I had recently ended a marriage "a few months ago" (not quite admitting it was only about three weeks ago) but felt I would really like to go on a date with her and wondered if she wanted to get together and go out on Friday. She liked to idea, so we made plans to meet at her place and 'play it by ear'. I talked to her again on Thursday, once again for a couple of hours, then met her at her place on Friday evening.

The date went very well, and I'll give some details but first I will say that it was very awkward 'dating' again so soon after leaving a nine year relationship. I was quite comfortable with Melany, and found her quite attractive, and wasn't thinking of my wife at all. Even though we were still married and were separated less than a month I already considered her as part of my past. She betrayed our love and trust when she initially walked out, and then made her 'decision' to end it when she decided not to come back so that we can work on our issues. As far as I was concerned, she made her decision, we were done, and I was moving on with my life.

What was awkward about dating again was that for the past nine years everything I did, I pretty much did it with Alison (my wife). Every story I have at that point was with her, and I am used to automatically saying "We" instead of "I". So everytime I went to relate a story (about whatever) to Melanie, I would start saying "We", catch myself before saying it, then reflect on the fact that women probably don't want to ever hear mention of your ex, and while pondering this, would end up not telling the story at all. So I kept starting to say something, then ended up not saying it. To tell the truth, I think Melanie kind of liked it. It made Melanie think I was being mysterious, when really I just wasn't used to being 'single' anymore and didn't know how to talk like a 'single' person.

So, details of our date. I met her at her place. We sate with her roommate (some guy) and talked for about an hour. Just chatting. Then me and Melanie decided to go down the street to this local bar that she frequents and has a great band playing later that night. It had snowed earlier than night, and when she took one step onto her icy stone stairway her feet flew out from underneath her and she landed HARD on her tailbone. Ouch! I really thought the date was going to end right there. She hit VERY HARD and I wondered if she could even now walk. But, being the trooper that she was she wanted to continue this date.

So we got to the bar a few blocks away. She chatted briefly with the doorman whom she knows from hanging out, then we started playing pool. At the time, I was okay at pool but not really that practiced yet. Melanie who was living a 'single' life much longer than me was quite good at pool. I knew she was a better pool player than me, but she let me win every game. I knew she was letting me win. I thought that it was kind of cute. We played for about an hour, and the band was now just starting to set up. We decided to go down the road further to a karaokee place that she liked to frequent. We could come back later to hear to band if we wanted to.

I think she was trying to indimidate me as this bar we were going to was a gay bar. Unbeknownst to her, about 75% of my wife's coworkers were either gay or lesbian and seeing they were more fun than most of my 'stuffy' corporate office coworkers we usually hung out with her (more colorful) friends. So for the past two years, at least half the bars I was hanging out at(with my wife) were gay or lesbian bars. Going to a gay bar with my date didn't bother me at all. In fact, it was a bit flattering as I was still in shape and got hit on a lot by gay men. Of course I was only interested in my wife, and DEFINITELY wasn't interested in men, but it was still flattering having people tell you how attractive you are.

Anyway, while me and Melanie were walking to the karaoke bar, she stopped and said to me, "If you get nervous being there, then you can either grab my hand, grab my ass, or kiss me." I replied, oh, let me practice, and as I repeated what she had said, did grab her hand, then grab her ass, then kissed her. Then we kissed a while longer before preceding to the bar.

She sang karaoke there pretty much every week so everybody knew her there. We sat at a table with two pretty-boy gay twins whom everyone just called "the Twins". She got left me there and went and bought us drinks. In fact, she bought all the drinks at that bar. There was a time where Melanie dissapeared for about 40 minutes. I just stayed at the table talking to the Twins. One of them had just been dumped, and was pouring his heart out to me about the ordeal. That's when Melanie returned and was quite shocked. She said, "The Twins don't talk to anybody, and here they are pouring their hearts out to you!" I simple replied, "Well, I guess I'm just a likeable sort of guy!" She seemed to like this, as she sat on my lap for the rest of our time there.

A while later, she looked somewhat devilish at me and said, "You know, my back is starting to get REALLY sore, and I think I need to go to bed." I responded with an equally devilish look and said, "Well then, I think I'd better join you." We left the bar at that point (around 12:30a) and went straight to her bed. We had sex, made out, talked, made out more, had more sex, slept more for the rest of the evening and into Saturday. This was approaching Christmas time, so I had a black-tie optional Christmas party to attend that night (put on by my employer). So I left her bed at 5:00p. Went home. Changed into my tuxedo and then went to my party. Ate lots of food, drank tons of free liquor, and partied with some of the younger coworkers until 3:00a.

I called Melanie the next day and we met for brunch. Then she came to my house and we watched a movie together then ended up going to her place so she could tape her 'favourite show'. We hung out for another couple of hours, then she said (once again with a devilish look), "You know, I think my back is going to be too sore for me to make it to work tomorrow." And I replied, "Well then, I prescribe plenty of bed rest!" With that we went straight to bed. Same routine as last time. I didn't have to go to the office that week because I had finished an assignment and was interviewing for the next, but seeing it was Christmas time there wasn't a need to actually report to the office. You just had to be available in case they wanted you to do a task or interview with a client. So, she called in 'sick' the next day and we spent Monday in bed together. Laying together, talking, watching TV, making out, having sex, dozing off the sleep, etc. etc.

She had a pool league to go to that night, and I really did have to go home to make sure the office didn't try to contact me. So I left her bed around 4:00p and went home. We had plans to go to my favourite bar (the VIP) on Wednesday for karaoke. The following weekend I was flying home for Christmas and was returning on the day of New Year's Eve. We had also made plans for her to pick me up at the airport and to spend New Year's Eve together.

Monday night I had talked to a friend of mine who lived in Pittsburg. He was the recruiter for the company I worked for my first year in Columbus. Eventually he took a job in Pittsburg (where he is originally from). When I had met him a few years earlier, he had just broke up with his live-in girlfriend of 5+ years and was now on the 'dating scene' for the first time in years. I remember at the time, he was telling me "This dating thing is crazy. The girls are really strange out there!" Me, who had been living with Alison the past 4+ years, could only reply, "Well, I couldn't tell you man. I haven't been out there in a while either."

So now that I was dating again, and the past few days was my first date in over nine years. I would have to say that the date went VERY well. So I told him with a laugh, "Well man, I don't know what you are talking about, but this dating thing is Easy!"

I called Melanie Tuesday after work but only got her machine. I left a message letting her know that I generally get to the VIP by 9:00p, and asked if she would like to go out for dinner together first before going to karaoke.

I never heard from her. So around 5:30 on Wednesday (the night we were supposed to go out) I called and left her a message to give me a call when she got home from work. I called again around 6:30p before I made something for myself to eat. Then I called again around 8:30p letting her know that I was heading to the VIP to meet up with friends and left her directions on how to get there in case she was planning to join us. Then I picked up Bill and we went out and had our usual ball with the VIP karaoke crowd.

I still hadn't heard from her by Thursday evening and was figuring something was up. I figured if she doesn't call by Friday then something went sour and we were no longer seeing one another. Friday rolled around, and there was still no word from her. So I left a final message on her answering machine pretty much stating "Okay, I get it. You're not going to call me, and I am assuming that we are no longer seeing one another. This confusing me somewhat because I was under the impression that we were getting along quite well. But, oh well. Look I would love to hear from you, and I would love to continue seeing you, so you know how to reach me if you want to."

And I left it at that. We never called one another again. Eventually I did see her again as a few months later she started hanging out at the VIP and Eldorados for karaoke. By then, me and my friends owned those bars during karaoke. At first she was very cold to me but eventually warmed up and started talking to me again once she realized that I knew and hung out with EVERYONE at those two bars. I never asked about "what happened" but of course the question never left my mind. One day she approached the subject and asked if I would like to know why she never called back. Of course I said "yes" but her explanation was just a superficial excuse. If she ever even knew, then she wasn't saying so.

To tell the truth, when we were seeing each other those few days she acted like she was completely enamored by me. Meanwhile as much as I loved spending time with her, after all it was a wonderful distraction, and very emotionally and physically intimate, but I knew she wasn't the type of person that I wanted a long-term relationship with so I thought that I would have to 'let her go' in a couple of months. As it turns out, she let me go after a few days.

I've lived much more the 'single lifestyle' since then and have seen much crazier things happen since, but at the time that was the most bizarre incident that had ever happened to me (as far as things turning on a dime anyway). I know a lot more about Melanie now, and her inconsistent actions no longer surprise me, but to this day I still don't know why things ended the way that they did. I can speculate. But I never bothered. I was looking forward to continuing my time with her, but at the same time, it didn't matter to me either. I was just living one day at a time back then, and keeping the good times coming so that I wouldn't have to cope with the pain inside that I wasn't ready to face yet.

I do remember calling my friend in Pittsburg back a few days after I stopped talking to Melanie and telling him, "I was wrong man. You are right. It is crazy out there!"