This Dating Thing is Easy...

Well, eventually I want to get to talking about the things going on in my current life and the things that are currently on my mind. There's plenty of recent thoughts and events that I would like to write about as well. However, I really do want to get this personal history of my past nine years recorded. Especially the first two years after me and my wife parted ways. It would also allow good insight into the events that have motivated or altered my life. I guess that means I have to try and write a little more regularly in order to 'catch up' to current day.

So, let us talk about Melanie for a moment. It was about three or four weeks into my nightly partying with Bill. By this time we were just starting to hang out at the other karaokee bars (besides just the VIP) and it was the first week we were selling 'stuff' to Jeff and Jack.

It was a Thursday night and we went to Eldorados bar because they were having karaoke that night. We got there at about 8:00p (when we usually got to the bar). Karaoke doesn't start until 9:00p and the bar is pretty sparse until then. Me and Bill were shooting pool with this f#cked up red-headed chick with crooked teeth. I may mention her sometime as she developed quite the crush and even obsession over me in the next year or two, but we'll save that for another time. She DEFINITELY wasn't my type. Her life was full of drama, she wasn't very intelligent, and she was well overweight. Three huge strikes and an OUT right there! Anyway, I digress.

A little while later this good looking chick named Melanie (who was there alone) asked if she could shoot pool with us. We of course said, "sure". Same as us, apparently this was the first time that Melanie had been to this bar. Meanwhile there was this other regular at that bar that was also shooting pool with us. This other dude (whom over the years I later got to know) was hitting pretty hardcore on Melony but she wasn't really giving him the time-of-day. On the other hand, me and Melony were hitting it off rather well and we were both talking lots and flirting quite heavily with one another.

In the meantime, Bill was on the phone with Jeff and Jack seeing if we could make a little 'side money' for the evening. It also made Bill feel really 'big' because he could talk and act like a 'real' drug dealer. So anyway, Bill comes and says "We gotsta Go! There is a business deal that we have to make." So, I talked a little more with Melanie before excusing myself, but not before getting her phone number for a date "sometime soon". Me and Bill left, did the Jeff and Jack thing for a while, then went bar hopping elsewhere. We also had a crazy weekend in another part of town so I didn't get calling Melanie until maybe Tuesday after work (yes, I was still working at this point).

When I called her we talked for a few hours, getting to know one another and all that stuff. I let her know that I had recently ended a marriage "a few months ago" (not quite admitting it was only about three weeks ago) but felt I would really like to go on a date with her and wondered if she wanted to get together and go out on Friday. She liked to idea, so we made plans to meet at her place and 'play it by ear'. I talked to her again on Thursday, once again for a couple of hours, then met her at her place on Friday evening.

The date went very well, and I'll give some details but first I will say that it was very awkward 'dating' again so soon after leaving a nine year relationship. I was quite comfortable with Melany, and found her quite attractive, and wasn't thinking of my wife at all. Even though we were still married and were separated less than a month I already considered her as part of my past. She betrayed our love and trust when she initially walked out, and then made her 'decision' to end it when she decided not to come back so that we can work on our issues. As far as I was concerned, she made her decision, we were done, and I was moving on with my life.

What was awkward about dating again was that for the past nine years everything I did, I pretty much did it with Alison (my wife). Every story I have at that point was with her, and I am used to automatically saying "We" instead of "I". So everytime I went to relate a story (about whatever) to Melanie, I would start saying "We", catch myself before saying it, then reflect on the fact that women probably don't want to ever hear mention of your ex, and while pondering this, would end up not telling the story at all. So I kept starting to say something, then ended up not saying it. To tell the truth, I think Melanie kind of liked it. It made Melanie think I was being mysterious, when really I just wasn't used to being 'single' anymore and didn't know how to talk like a 'single' person.

So, details of our date. I met her at her place. We sate with her roommate (some guy) and talked for about an hour. Just chatting. Then me and Melanie decided to go down the street to this local bar that she frequents and has a great band playing later that night. It had snowed earlier than night, and when she took one step onto her icy stone stairway her feet flew out from underneath her and she landed HARD on her tailbone. Ouch! I really thought the date was going to end right there. She hit VERY HARD and I wondered if she could even now walk. But, being the trooper that she was she wanted to continue this date.

So we got to the bar a few blocks away. She chatted briefly with the doorman whom she knows from hanging out, then we started playing pool. At the time, I was okay at pool but not really that practiced yet. Melanie who was living a 'single' life much longer than me was quite good at pool. I knew she was a better pool player than me, but she let me win every game. I knew she was letting me win. I thought that it was kind of cute. We played for about an hour, and the band was now just starting to set up. We decided to go down the road further to a karaokee place that she liked to frequent. We could come back later to hear to band if we wanted to.

I think she was trying to indimidate me as this bar we were going to was a gay bar. Unbeknownst to her, about 75% of my wife's coworkers were either gay or lesbian and seeing they were more fun than most of my 'stuffy' corporate office coworkers we usually hung out with her (more colorful) friends. So for the past two years, at least half the bars I was hanging out at(with my wife) were gay or lesbian bars. Going to a gay bar with my date didn't bother me at all. In fact, it was a bit flattering as I was still in shape and got hit on a lot by gay men. Of course I was only interested in my wife, and DEFINITELY wasn't interested in men, but it was still flattering having people tell you how attractive you are.

Anyway, while me and Melanie were walking to the karaoke bar, she stopped and said to me, "If you get nervous being there, then you can either grab my hand, grab my ass, or kiss me." I replied, oh, let me practice, and as I repeated what she had said, did grab her hand, then grab her ass, then kissed her. Then we kissed a while longer before preceding to the bar.

She sang karaoke there pretty much every week so everybody knew her there. We sat at a table with two pretty-boy gay twins whom everyone just called "the Twins". She got left me there and went and bought us drinks. In fact, she bought all the drinks at that bar. There was a time where Melanie dissapeared for about 40 minutes. I just stayed at the table talking to the Twins. One of them had just been dumped, and was pouring his heart out to me about the ordeal. That's when Melanie returned and was quite shocked. She said, "The Twins don't talk to anybody, and here they are pouring their hearts out to you!" I simple replied, "Well, I guess I'm just a likeable sort of guy!" She seemed to like this, as she sat on my lap for the rest of our time there.

A while later, she looked somewhat devilish at me and said, "You know, my back is starting to get REALLY sore, and I think I need to go to bed." I responded with an equally devilish look and said, "Well then, I think I'd better join you." We left the bar at that point (around 12:30a) and went straight to her bed. We had sex, made out, talked, made out more, had more sex, slept more for the rest of the evening and into Saturday. This was approaching Christmas time, so I had a black-tie optional Christmas party to attend that night (put on by my employer). So I left her bed at 5:00p. Went home. Changed into my tuxedo and then went to my party. Ate lots of food, drank tons of free liquor, and partied with some of the younger coworkers until 3:00a.

I called Melanie the next day and we met for brunch. Then she came to my house and we watched a movie together then ended up going to her place so she could tape her 'favourite show'. We hung out for another couple of hours, then she said (once again with a devilish look), "You know, I think my back is going to be too sore for me to make it to work tomorrow." And I replied, "Well then, I prescribe plenty of bed rest!" With that we went straight to bed. Same routine as last time. I didn't have to go to the office that week because I had finished an assignment and was interviewing for the next, but seeing it was Christmas time there wasn't a need to actually report to the office. You just had to be available in case they wanted you to do a task or interview with a client. So, she called in 'sick' the next day and we spent Monday in bed together. Laying together, talking, watching TV, making out, having sex, dozing off the sleep, etc. etc.

She had a pool league to go to that night, and I really did have to go home to make sure the office didn't try to contact me. So I left her bed around 4:00p and went home. We had plans to go to my favourite bar (the VIP) on Wednesday for karaoke. The following weekend I was flying home for Christmas and was returning on the day of New Year's Eve. We had also made plans for her to pick me up at the airport and to spend New Year's Eve together.

Monday night I had talked to a friend of mine who lived in Pittsburg. He was the recruiter for the company I worked for my first year in Columbus. Eventually he took a job in Pittsburg (where he is originally from). When I had met him a few years earlier, he had just broke up with his live-in girlfriend of 5+ years and was now on the 'dating scene' for the first time in years. I remember at the time, he was telling me "This dating thing is crazy. The girls are really strange out there!" Me, who had been living with Alison the past 4+ years, could only reply, "Well, I couldn't tell you man. I haven't been out there in a while either."

So now that I was dating again, and the past few days was my first date in over nine years. I would have to say that the date went VERY well. So I told him with a laugh, "Well man, I don't know what you are talking about, but this dating thing is Easy!"

I called Melanie Tuesday after work but only got her machine. I left a message letting her know that I generally get to the VIP by 9:00p, and asked if she would like to go out for dinner together first before going to karaoke.

I never heard from her. So around 5:30 on Wednesday (the night we were supposed to go out) I called and left her a message to give me a call when she got home from work. I called again around 6:30p before I made something for myself to eat. Then I called again around 8:30p letting her know that I was heading to the VIP to meet up with friends and left her directions on how to get there in case she was planning to join us. Then I picked up Bill and we went out and had our usual ball with the VIP karaoke crowd.

I still hadn't heard from her by Thursday evening and was figuring something was up. I figured if she doesn't call by Friday then something went sour and we were no longer seeing one another. Friday rolled around, and there was still no word from her. So I left a final message on her answering machine pretty much stating "Okay, I get it. You're not going to call me, and I am assuming that we are no longer seeing one another. This confusing me somewhat because I was under the impression that we were getting along quite well. But, oh well. Look I would love to hear from you, and I would love to continue seeing you, so you know how to reach me if you want to."

And I left it at that. We never called one another again. Eventually I did see her again as a few months later she started hanging out at the VIP and Eldorados for karaoke. By then, me and my friends owned those bars during karaoke. At first she was very cold to me but eventually warmed up and started talking to me again once she realized that I knew and hung out with EVERYONE at those two bars. I never asked about "what happened" but of course the question never left my mind. One day she approached the subject and asked if I would like to know why she never called back. Of course I said "yes" but her explanation was just a superficial excuse. If she ever even knew, then she wasn't saying so.

To tell the truth, when we were seeing each other those few days she acted like she was completely enamored by me. Meanwhile as much as I loved spending time with her, after all it was a wonderful distraction, and very emotionally and physically intimate, but I knew she wasn't the type of person that I wanted a long-term relationship with so I thought that I would have to 'let her go' in a couple of months. As it turns out, she let me go after a few days.

I've lived much more the 'single lifestyle' since then and have seen much crazier things happen since, but at the time that was the most bizarre incident that had ever happened to me (as far as things turning on a dime anyway). I know a lot more about Melanie now, and her inconsistent actions no longer surprise me, but to this day I still don't know why things ended the way that they did. I can speculate. But I never bothered. I was looking forward to continuing my time with her, but at the same time, it didn't matter to me either. I was just living one day at a time back then, and keeping the good times coming so that I wouldn't have to cope with the pain inside that I wasn't ready to face yet.

I do remember calling my friend in Pittsburg back a few days after I stopped talking to Melanie and telling him, "I was wrong man. You are right. It is crazy out there!"